Cursing
by The
Castaway Poet
I just love
cursing.
Cursing is
my hobby,
my
pass time,
my daily
mode of relaxation.
I love it.
Cursing is
my medium
and my muse.
It's how I
express myself.
I love
cursing.
Unfortunately,
I can't curse all the time-
like at my
job,
around my
children,
around my
mother.
I even like
replacement curse words
which come
in handy
if you have
some serious cursing to do,
but it may
be construed as inappropriate.
I can work
in replacement words as easily
as I can
with the genuine article.
Oh snap!
What the
frick did you think I was going to say?
Shut the
front door!
Oh sugar!
Aw, fudge!
These words
can help ease stress,
they may
just not be as impressive
as the real
deal.
(Or as fun
to say,
If you want
to be truly honest
with yourself.)
And since
they aren't as shocking
or
impressive, sometimes you have
to just
shout obscenities
so loud that
your neighbors think
you're
watching Maury
with the
bleeps removed.
I love
cursing.
Some would
say that if you have to resort
to curse words,
you sound
uneducated with nothing better
to say.
I say
sometimes
it's easier to express myself
or get my
point across
with an oh
so handy curse word.
Usually,
when you curse,
no one
misunderstands
or
misinterprets
what you are
saying.
It's pretty
hard to think someone
is having a
good day
when they
are muttering
"Oh,
shit! Oh, shit!"
as they walk
down the
street.
You just get
out of their way
and leave
them be
because you
can hear
that they
have problems.
Some people
frown when others
curse around
them,
but I'm sure
that they are cursing
deep down
inside
where no one
can hear them,
"Please,
just shut your damn mouth!
There are
children present."
I love
cursing.
I learned to
curse at my grandfather's knee.
He was a
wizened,
toughened,
blue collar farmer.
He would
cuss up a storm
at anyone
or anything
that screwed
up
or crossed
his path.
To me, he
was a great guy,
and if the
penalty for cursing
was a
mouthful of soap,
that was a
consequence I was willing to accept.
(Grandpa
used lava-
now that was
cuss-worthy experience!)
My mother
would shudder in horror
whenever I
repeated
any of my
grandpa's choice phrases.
What mother
wants to hear
her seven
year old
call the
family cat
a
sonovabitch?
I love
cursing.
In fact,
studies now show that cursing
can be
beneficial to your health.
Say what?
Cursing can
be so good for you?
Take that
all of you who are too
easily
offended!
Mwah-ha-ha!
We cursers
will take over!
But
seriously,
If you are
hurt
or get hurt
cursing
helps
alleviate
and
abbreviate
the pain!
If you
curse, you are able to
withstand
more pain
than if you
don't!
If you
curse,
your pain
goes away
faster
than
if
you
didn't
curse
at
all!
So, what's
the big fucking deal?
I love
cursing.
I string
curse words together
and it's a
fucking art.
Cursing to
me is like
Leonardo Da
Vinci to oil paints.
Someday, I
will create my
Starry Night through a string of curse
words
the world
has never seen.
So get off
my back when I am
stringing
expletives together.
I may be
sculpting my David,
my Mona
Lisa,
my Venus De
Milo,
my
masterpiece
out of
words.
I love
cursing,
so
back the
fuck off
and leave me
the FUCK alone.