I Could Kick Your Ass*

I could kick your ass*
unless you actually have muscles
or strength
or some other such nonsense.
Basically, what I am saying is that
I could kick your ass
if you were an
anemic,
anorexic,
undersized,
and
weak.
Damn.
Back when I was
younger,
stronger,
tougher-
then I probably could have kicked your ass.
Probably.
Well, at least I think so.
Maybe.
I think.
I felt pretty confident when
I took kickboxing classes.
I was a lean, mean,
fighting machine.
And now,
now life has gotten in the way.
I've got
work,
kids,
a second job because the first one doesn't pay enough,
responsibilities,
chores,
and excuses.
Oh, I've got a ton of those.
I'm too tired.
I'm too busy.
I'm too broke.
What I really need,
is to get off my ass
and get it back into shape,
so I can work on
kicking
your
ass
again.