Sunday, March 10, 2013

by The Castaway Poet

I just love cursing.
Cursing is my hobby,
my pass time,
my daily mode of relaxation.
I love it.
Cursing is my medium
and my muse.
It's how I express myself.
I love cursing.
Unfortunately, I can't curse all the time-
like at my job,
around my children,
around my mother.
I even like replacement curse words
which come in handy
if you have some serious cursing to do,
but it may be construed as inappropriate.
I can work in replacement words as easily
as I can with the genuine article.
Oh snap!
What the frick did you think I was going to say?
Shut the front door!
Oh sugar!
Aw, fudge!
These words can help ease stress,
they may just not be as impressive
as the real deal.
(Or as fun to say,
If you want to be truly honest
with yourself.)
And since they aren't as shocking
or impressive, sometimes you have
to just shout obscenities
so loud that your neighbors think
you're watching Maury
with the bleeps removed.
I love cursing.
Some would say that if you have to resort
to curse words,
you sound uneducated with nothing better
to say.
I say
sometimes it's easier to express myself
or get my point across
with an oh so handy curse word.
Usually, when you curse,
no one misunderstands
or misinterprets
what you are saying.
It's pretty hard to think someone
is having a good day
when they are muttering
"Oh, shit! Oh, shit!"
as they walk
down the street.
You just get out of their way
and leave them be
because you can hear
that they have problems.
Some people frown when others
curse around them,
but I'm sure that they are cursing
deep down inside
where no one can hear them,
"Please, just shut  your damn mouth!
There are children present."
I love cursing.
I learned to curse at my grandfather's knee.
He was a wizened,
blue collar farmer.
He would cuss up a storm
at anyone
or anything
that screwed up
or crossed his path.
To me, he was a great guy,
and if the penalty for cursing
was a mouthful of soap,
that was a consequence I was willing to accept.
(Grandpa used lava-
now that was cuss-worthy experience!)
My mother would shudder in horror
whenever I repeated
any of my grandpa's choice phrases.
What mother wants to hear
her seven year old
call the family cat
a sonovabitch?
I love cursing.
In fact, studies now show that cursing
can be beneficial to your health.
Say what?
Cursing can be so good for you?
Take that all of you who are too
easily offended!
We cursers will take over!
But seriously,
If you are hurt
or get hurt
cursing helps
and abbreviate
the pain!
If you curse, you are able to
withstand more pain
than if you don't!
If you curse,
your pain goes away
So, what's the big fucking deal?
I love cursing.
I string curse words together
and it's a
fucking art.
Cursing to me is like
Leonardo Da Vinci to oil paints.
Someday, I will create my
Starry Night through a string of curse words
the world has never seen.
So get off my back when I am
stringing expletives together.
I may be sculpting my David,
my Mona Lisa,
my Venus De Milo,
my masterpiece
out of words.
I love cursing,
back the fuck off
and leave me the FUCK alone.

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